The Curse of the Carrots

Travis Erwin is right in what he says about vegetables. They are the devil's food. I decided to cut back on fattening snacks and replace them with carrots. Dutifully, I bought some baby carrots at the store recently and over the course of a couple of days I "treated" myself to a few when I felt the urge to snack. This was not a wise decision on my part.

My body knows how to handle fatty treats. It responds appropriately. But apparently my body had no idea at all on what to do with carrots. My internal structures from the stomach on down are in wild revolt. Believe me, my brain has gotten the message. I imagine the exchange went something like:

"Hey there, Waste Elimination System, the brain wishes to inform you that the white flag is up. Surrener is imminent. What are your demands?"

*Waste Elimination System makes some untranslatable remark here. But the brain apparently understands and translates it as: "Send in the cupcakes and no one gets hurt."*

"Cupcakes on the way. Please release the intestines from the cramp restraints."
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