BATTLE OF THE SEXES, PART FOUR

Yesterday in Battle of the Sexes PART THREE we talked about how adolescents learn to be attractive to the opposite sex. Part four today talks about what happens when they catch( or are caught) what they have been seeking.


Scene four ( plush cave,19,984 BC )

Ug is reclined on his bed of branches covered with the latest style of Cave Lion skin blankets. His occasional moans and grimaces as he grunts with his mates, Uglee and Uglyer, indicate that he is in pain. The women are dressed in matching Giraffe skin skirts and halters. Uglee has an attractive bone in her nose and Uglyer has decorated her face with blue and red clay. Both women are excited and not too happy with Ug.

Uglee: "Damn you Ug! It's Saturday night and you promised to take us to the tribal stomp tonight!"

Uglyer: "We don't care if you do have a hangover! That's what you deserve! By, god! If you hadn't stayed out all night and day with those bums you call friends, drinking that godawful stuff you brew up..."

UG: "Moan."

Uglee: "Well, one thing for damn sure, if you don't take us to the stomp we're gonna cut you off!"

UG: ( As he tromps out of the cave and yells back) " I'll be damned if that's so! Cause you don't know where I'm GETTING IT!"


Eventually the majority of adults snare a mate. Many enter into the traditional institutions of marriage and others simply "shack up" with their 'significant other'. Either event indicates some degree of willingness to make a commitment to a member of the opposite sex. ( This post deals strictly with heterosexuals.) There are a number of reasons why adults enter into such a commitment. The most successful of these relationships appear to be based on an abstract concept called love. The vast majority of "old married people" ( those married twenty years or longer ) profess to love their spouses. Although each one questioned has a different definition of love, the definition will invariably include some statement about security: He/she makes me feel like a woman/man. He has always been such a good provider. She is a wonderful mother and housekeeper. We have so much in common that we even think alike. And so on...... Such definitions are reminiscent of a trite joke: "Your honor, I didn't realize I was raped until the check bounced!"

In short, there is an excellent argument to be made that most adults enter a sexual commitment for security; emotional or economic-or both. A man may marry ( or shack up ) simply for the convenience of a readily available sex partner. He is willing to provide material security to a woman in return for sex. Conversely, a woman may be more than willing to provide sex for her partner in return for financial security.And, there are some other factors of security that should be considered such as a mother/father for their children. Marry the best I can snare before I'm too old to be a mother/father. Proof to peers that one is able to find a mate, etc. But, regardless of the reasons for entering the relationship, too many times each partner, covertly or overtly, uses sex as a weapon to try to dominate the other.
"You can't cut me off, you don't know where I'm getting it!"

Although the struggle for sexual dominance is as old as mankind, the changing societal roles of women during the past sixty plus years has intensified the battle. Prior to World War II few women worked outside the home. However, the industrial labor shortage of the war years necessitated the use of female labor in the factories. Women not only filled the jobs, they did so admirably. But, more important, for the first time in United States history a substantial number of "housewives" were economically independent from their spouses. This freedom was a birth of a social revolution that has evolved into a majority of women working outside of the home. It is agreed that the chaotic economy is in large part responsible for the "working wife" In fact, in many, many families the wife's income makes the difference in "living" and mere existence. However, there are a substantial number of "working wives" who seek outside employment for reasons other than financial necessity.These women are often college trained professionals who see their careers as a method for self fulfillment, ( although the monetary reward is an incentive). But regardless of the reason for taking outside employment, the new economic freedom has given women an additional weapon in the struggle for sexual dominance as well as changing their traditional roles as housekeepers and mothers.

This concludes part four. Tomorrow I will discuss the problems that men have had over the years adjusting to the fact that they are no longer the sole bread winner and that they now must share in the decision making in a household as well as share the common chores of running a household and taking care of Junior. Again I invite you to tune in. It may or may not be your cup of tea and if not, well drink some coffee.